The Art of Fooling Oneself - The Seattle Mariner Way

I keep reading something that has an effect on me which is difficult to describe.  It tends to distort my face like I just heard Carl Lewis sing the national anthem, saw one of those bald Britney photos, or maybe swallowed a bug.  It’s a face trying to rationalize something almost unbearable.  “Not my fault, not my fault, not my fault,” I’ll say, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

The Seattle Mariners recently decided to tender a contract to Horacio Ramirez.  What I’ve seen time and again as a rationale for bringing him back to Seattle is the skill of Mel Stottlemyre, as “one of the best” pitching coaches in the business and that the feeling of the front office is that he can turn Horacio Ramirez from Ho-hum back into Ho-Ram.

Let’s recap what we know about Horacio Ramirez.  Last year, he posted a 7.16 ERA.  On the whole scale of “good” and “bad” – that’s freaking miserable.  It’s an embarrassment.  On most clubs, a guy pitching that horribly would not be starting games – he would be relegated to mop up duty and the manager would be saying in the papers every week that they’re “letting him iron out his mechanical problems in lower-stress situations”.  But not these M’s – as long as Horacio didn’t bark about his aches and pains, they continued to trot him out there and watch him not only get shelled, but in most instances, pout about in the paper the next day that he had “good location,” that he didn’t “make too many mistakes,” and batters were just hitting “good pitches”.

Ramirez allowed opposing batters to hit a robust .337 off of him.  He posted a 1.85 WHIP – allowing roughly two batters to reach base on his accord every single inning.  That makes it pretty tough to be successful.  He misses so few bats that he actually makes Carlos Silva look like a strikeout pitcher.  Ramirez in his career has struck out 288 batters in just over 619 innings pitched.  You almost have to try to do that.

And so they bring in good uncle Mel to fix this.  That’s like handing a box of Lego’s to an architect and asking him to rebuild the World Trade Center.  Good luck Mel.  I can’t wait to see the face you’re making when Ramirez gives up 5 earned runs by the second inning in his first outing after you work your magic. 

Just remember, it’s not your fault.