Just because I haven’t seen a full listing of all the former Seattle Mariners implicated in the rather unconvincing report on performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball, I thought I’d dig through all 400+ pages to bring you the highlights (lowlights, perhaps?)
Ismael Valdez, Jose Guillen, Todd Williams (what, you don’t remember Todd Williams? Shocker.), Glenallen Hill, Josias Manzanillo, Ron Villone, David Segui, Fernando Vina, David Bell, and Conan the Barbarian himself - the beefy Ryan Franklin (who stands 6’ 3” and weighs 185lbs sopping wet. If I were Ryan Franklin, I’d start asking questions about what kind of steroids I was taking…).
Looking at this list, it’s pretty obvious that HGH and steroids in general really enhance ones performance (insert cheesy 80’s laugh track here). I’m not sure that Fernando Vina or David Bell used to strike fear in the hearts of pitchers everywhere. And I’m not convinced that Todd Williams nor Ryan Franklin were able to miss more bats because of bigger biceps.
But I did watch Josias Manzanillo get hit in the groin with a line drive once when he wasn’t wearing a cup. He apparently paid a pretty major price, losing one of his, er…ahem… “boys”. So he’s got an excuse for the testosterone. The rest of you just look desperate.
Keywords: David Bell, David Segui, Fernando Vina, Glenallen Hill, Ismael Valdez, Jose Guillen, Josias Manzanillo, Mitchell Report, Ron Villone, Ryan Franklin, Seattle Mariners, Todd Williams
